Each quarter I post a review of a leadership/motivational book I recommend to colleagues and friends. Some may be old favorites, others are hot off the press. I am always open to suggestions for books to review. If you have a favorite you'd like to share with others, please contact me.

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff at Work
by Richard Carlson, Ph.D.

Seems somehow appropriate that our summer book review has the word "sweat" in the title. The media tells us this is the hottest summer on record across the country. No kidding.

The woman who recommended this book to me assured it was "an easy read, you'll breeze right through it."

Well, Don't Sweat the Small Stuff at Work is a small book...with small print and it is chock full of good ideas. It may be an easy read, but it is not a quick one. Not when the reader has to stop and reflect at how she sees herself on the page.

Every industry and career has it's own set of unique problems and sources of stress. The questions Don't Sweat the Small Stuff at Work puts before the reader are

• How much stress do we bring on ourselves?
• How do we deal with those stressors?

Structured with 100 mini-chapters, Don't Sweat the Small Stuff at Work is a book you can pick up in those five-minute time spans that crop up during the day. It helps the reader become aware of new ways, more peaceful and productive ways to deal with the demands of work.

Its major value lies in its premise that we are our greatest stressor. Author Richard Carlson's bottom line is that stress comes from:

• How we look at things,
• How we react to things,
• How we choose to use our time and resources

All are HUGE contributors to our "sweating the small stuff." While small stuff can stress us out, small changes in behavior can make BIG changes in our lives.

Carlson doesn't tell the reader troubles will go away–in fact, he says troubles are the way life is sometimes...accept it and you'll be a lot less stressed.

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff at Work fleshes out five major points:

POINT #1: I am my biggest stressor.

How many of us make small promises to others during the day which end up eating up precious time and don't really mean much to the person we promised? How many of us hold beliefs and perceptions that cause un-needed stress.

Many say the holidays are stressful because we have to run here and there to fulfill family obligations. Two years ago my family decided to celebrate "Thanksmas." We gather on a weekend between Thanksgiving and Christmas. We exchange gifts, play games, jointly cook a big meal. It is fun, relaxing and so far, stress-free. On the "real" holiday, each of us spends the day with spouse's family. There is plenty of time for church and time with one family instead of rushing between two. Ahhh the ease of it.

POINT #2: Focusing on things can make them come true–positive or negative.

It's no surprise, based on this point that the first "tip" Carlson gives in his book is DARE TO BE HAPPY.

Some folks believe that to be effective or respected they must be dour, serious, and all-business all the time. People who smile, laugh, and get excited can't possibly be effective or deep. NOT SO. Research has shown again and again that people who are fed by their jobs/careers, who love what they do are better performers and more highly motivated to do more. People with positive outlooks tend to live longer and cope with life's setbacks more effectively.

POINT #3: When stressed, look at your own contribution to what is happening.

This is not to say, "blame the victim", but in many cases we have set ourselves up. For example, the other day I needed a rental car by 5 pm. Did I tell the rental agent that? No. I said 3:00 pm. When did I get the car? 4:10 pm. Was I stressed? No, because I had not set myself up to be disappointed (once again) by poor service. There is not much I can do about poor service, but I CAN do something about how I set up a situation.

So get to the airport early and anticipate delays, bring a book to appointments so if the person is late, you can relax instead of stressing about wasted time. Leave the laptop home when you go on vacation. If you must check e-mail, the hotel will have a computer you can use.

POINT #4: Acknowledge that people are different than you.

Carlson spends many pages on this point. We each have our own way of seeing the world, our own pace of work, productivity, communication, and values. When someone is different, IT'S NOT PERSONAL. They simply see things and do things differently.

Recognize people as people. Treat them as you want to be treated (not necessarily as you HAVE been treated) and some of your stressors will melt away because: people will be more likely to give you a helping hand if you treat them with respect.

How? Say thank you, be on time for appointments, give credit where credit is due, realize that waitresses, receptionists, student workers, and older people may have information you need and ideas to help.

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff at Work suggests you take a look at your stressors and see if some of these "self created stressors" are on your list:

• Being controlling (worrying about the behavior and choices of others. Pay attention to yourself, not to others)

• How we talk about things: Why is it we say, "I have to go to work" but never say "I have to start my weekend"? Become aware of the words you use. We often use words that reinforce negative feelings or stress.

• We say TGIF. Why not TGIT? Or TGIW? Every day is unique. Every day brings different gifts. Recognize and acknowledge them.

• Phone/e-mail interruptions. There are lots of options here. Will anyone die if you turn the ringer off while you finish your report? Change your voice message to say you return calls between 11-12 and 3-4 pm. Leave detailed messages and ask for detailed messages in return.

• Anticipating tiredness, boredom, rudeness is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

• Self-defeating habits: gong to bed late, drinking too much, hanging around with negative people. Once recognized, put yourself in the drivers seat. YOU CAN CHOOSE TO DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT.

POINT #5: Value yourself.

Give yourself the credit you deserve. Take breaks to freshen your mind. Make your workspace more personally pleasant.

About mid-way through Don't Sweat the Small Stuff at Work Carlson suggests an exercise I found both insightful and valuable. He asks the reader to list their 10 top priorities. Once listed, put the list away for two weeks. After two weeks, take it out and assess how much time you have given to each of those priorities.

If something is a true priority we make time for it and give attention to it. What do your results say? Are you stressing over "shoulds" that don't matter? Priorities that should not even be on the list anymore?

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff at Work is a good read as we move toward the "psychological new year" (Labor Day) and the real thing (Jan. 1). There is enough "big stuff" to get our sweat glands going. Use this resource to dump the small stuff. Take your power back!

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff at Work

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Personal Priorities

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