Each quarter I post a review of a leadership/motivational book I recommend to colleagues and friends. Some may be old favorites, others are hot off the press. I am always open to suggestions for books to review. If you have a favorite you'd like to share with others, please contact me.

There was a time when only CEOs, troubled employees, and elite athletes had coaches. Today, individuals can find a coach for almost every area of life. A colleague recently brought me an article she found in Good Housekeeping about "new parent" coaching. Yikes!

As things go to extremes and then circle back, Talane Miedaner is ahead of the curve. She has found success as a coach and as an author telling readers they do not need to hire a coach. You can do it yourself!

Miedaner defines coaching as "a process that closes the gap between where you are and where you want to be. " The main premise of Coach Yourself To Success is "success will come to you if you prepare for it by getting your environment, finances, health and relationships in order."

Do I believe it? If you accomplish even half of what Miedaner recommends, your life cannot help but improve, and if opportunities come your way, you will be better prepared to act on them. Is success a given? That depends on how you describe success.

Coach Yourself is laid out in a "program" format with each part building on the one which preceded it.
Most of us, says Miedaner, live our lives backwards-spending a great deal of time and energy working to make money so we can buy or do things that will make us happy. That is the hard way to success.
The easy way is to first decide who you want to be and then act on that decision.

Knowing who you want to be, you no longer waste time on goals, projects or relationships that are not fulfilling. There are two ways to get what you want:

• Set goal and go after it (what most of us try to do)
• Attract your goal to you (Miedaner's recommendation)

Miedaner says it all boils down to energy. We can do things that give us energy or things that drain energy away. Coach Yourself lays out a plan to help us make energy creating choices by removing the energy drains in your life, adding activities and people, which increase your energy, and creating space for opportunities.

HOW TO USE THIS BOOK

The 101 tips are divided into ten chapters that build on each other in a natural progression. Entire program takes at least a year, so pace yourself. Each tip has examples of how people have put the tip into action. These personal examples add to the enjoyment of the book and give additional ideas of how you might work the tip in your own life.

The end of the book provides resources for further reading and agencies to contact if you need help with addictions, finances, etc. There is also information on how to find a coach, or how to get training to become a coach yourself.

Here us a sampling of ideas found in COACH YOURSELF TO SUCCESS.

INCREASE YOUR NATURAL POWER

• LIST YOUR PETTY ANNOYANCES (missing buttons, a remote that doesn't work, stacks of magazines not read). Set aside a day and get as much of them resolved as possible. Unfinished stuff sucks energy from you every time you look at it. Some things on your list may seem outside your control. That's OK. Get them out of you head and onto paper. Work the ones you can. Others may resolve themselves.
• SET BOUNDARIES: decide what you will tolerate and what you will not. What will you no longer let people do to you (yell, put you down, tease, call you at home, etc.)? Many people believe that enforcing boundaries makes them look sensitive and people will disrespect them. Just the opposite. People respect boundaries and respect you more for having them. Boundaries define for people what they can and can't do to you and enables people to get closer. Boundaries make you feel safe and when you feel safe, you can be more open.

CLEAN UP YOUR ACT

"If you want something new, create space for it."
The less "stuff" you have, the more energy you have available to you.

• Rule of Two Extras: helps you unclutter everything from copies of articles you think you might use some day to linens in your closet. For example: if you have four beds in your home, get rid of all but six sets of sheets.
• Technology: be sure it enhances your life rather than further complicating it Are you more stressed because your cell phone makes you available 24/7? Turn it off.
  A motto to live by: Do it, Delegate it, or Delete it. Set a goal to do what ONLY YOU can do-delegate or delete everything else. Miedaner talks a lot about "hiring help"- great if you have the financial resources. If you don't, have you thought about bartering?

MAKE MONEY WORK FOR YOU

Goal: make money a detail in your life, not the main concern. More money is not the key to happiness. The trick is to manage money so you have enough and can stop worrying.

• Billionaire Game: List 100 things you would do or buy if you have a billion dollars. Every wish desire, fantasy. Now go through the list. Which do you really want? And what does having it really entail. Miedaner gives an example of a man who craved a Mercedes. After putting it on his list, he decided to take a test drive. To his astonishment, he discovered he didn't like the way it handled. He crossed it from his list.
  As list gets smaller, ask: Which will I regret not having or not doing on my deathbed? Which aligns with my values? Are these items possible without being a billionaire? Can I start taking steps toward on or two now?
• Go on a Money DIET. Stop spending for 30 days. Make NO purchases but the essentials (and try to buy them in advance of the diet). Make a list of what you'd like to buy, but do not buy. Spurs your creativity as well"

MAKING TIME WHEN THERE ISN'T ANY

Track your time. Where does it go? Gives you a handle on the time wasters, which you can then delegate, do or delete from your life.

• Turn off the TV (an addictive energy drain)

Ask three questions every morning:

• What is important about today
• What must get done today?
• What is important about the future?

RELATIONSHIPS

We want to work with people we like and trust. One of the key elements to being successful and attracting the best people and opportunities is to identify and fulfill your needs.

How do you figure out your needs? Needs are what you must have to be your best. What is that?
Asking others to meet your needs is one of the hardest and most challenging tips of all Keep in mind that other people do not know our needs-that is a myth. We all have different needs, so how could other people possibly know yours?

If you let people know what you need, you have given them the chance to meet them. Tell five different people (yes, you want to overdo it) and ask them to fulfill a need in different ways. It is not forever-just till you "overdose." This is very hard to do, but the pay off is tremendous.

If asking makes you feel embarrassed, uncomfortable, or silly-that's good. You're expressing a true need.

DO THE WORK YOU LOVE

You radiate positive energy when you do the work you love. What puts you in the "flow?"

• Design your Ideal Life. This is the next step after playing the Billionaire Game. Design your life, then your career (most of us do it vise versa). Write it down or make a journal with pictures.
  What pieces of this picture are already in place (acknowledging what you have) what pieces can you begin to incorporate at this point (for example: you may not have a maid to bring you a croissant in the morning, but you can treat yourself with croissants) Build your life in small steps.
• Invent Five Alternative Careers. Pretend you current position has been eliminated from the earth. What might you like to do now? List five things and write a short paragraph about each. What do they have in common? Could this be your gift? Could you start doing more of whatever it is in your current life?

COMMUNICATE

• Turn complaints into requests:
  No one is attractive when complaining. Complaining is rarely productive and usually avoids the real issue. Turn your complaint into a request.
  Remember-in allowing a behavior you don't like to persist, you are training the people to repeat the behavior. Make your request and then give them time to readjust to your new standards and boundaries.
• Convert compliments into acknowledgements
  Acknowledgments are about who the person is, while a compliment is usually about what the person has or does. Giving acknowledgements will energize you and the people around you.
  For example: You're terrific VS. Your attention to detail in this report is right on the money.

TAKING CARE OF YOUR BEST ASSET-YOU

When you begin taking care of yourself, you start to believe you are worth more.

• Do things you believe you don't deserve. That doesn't mean you have to spend a lot of money. It's easier with money, but it can be done without. Miedaner gives numerous suggestions on how to spoil yourself on a shoestring.
  ASK: What is one thing I could do right now that seems like an incredible luxury?
• Focus on what you want vs. the money you need to do it. Focusing will help you see opportunities (perhaps through barter, swapping, coupons) Be willing to let the universe help you out. Two words about massage: GET ONE!

IN SUMMARY

Would I recommend this book? Yes, because Miedaner suggests sound, healthy principles:

• Get stuff out of your head and onto paper (more than just goals or fears)
• Become aware of energy zappers. Get them out of your life, from loose buttons to unhealthy relationships
• DO IT or let it go-you have a choice
• Set personal boundaries,
• Pay off credit card debt,
• Establish six months of savings,
• Explore how your work and your values are connected (or not connected) etc.

It all comes back to energy, says Miedaner. Thoughts are electrical signals. They create our reality. Everyone is constantly sending out signals to the universe. What signals are you sending out? You have a choice. If you can do what it takes on your own, great. If not, get a coach Success is living your life the way you want to live it.

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